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Thinking back on the girl that I was back then gives me chills because I have no idea who that was. It’s scary how much someone can change in such little time. It’s even scarier to think about who I’ll be in the future. That’ll be completely different from what I am currently.

But before we dive into that, I would like to introduce myself formally. My name is Johneisha, but friends and family call me Neisha — we’re friends now ;).

A Little About Me

I am 24 years old on the outside, but I feel like I’m in my mid-30s on the inside, haha. During the short time of my life, I feel that I’ve been through many eras, including a meaningful faith journey.

One of the most transformative eras in my life started after having my daughter and fighting postpartum depression. All the moms out there will definitely get a visual and maybe even some traumatizing flashbacks after reading that, haha.

My whole world flipped upside down. The good news is, it transformed me into a beautiful mother and an overall resilient young woman.

Defeating postpartum depression, anxiety, and all the other horrible things that follow along with it has strengthened my faith journey immensely. It restored my confidence, not just in looks ;), but also in being more sure of myself as a new young adult. Overall, it strengthened my mindset.

I think that’s why this era feels so different for me.

I’m not just going through life anymore—I’m paying attention to it.

I’m actually learning from my experiences instead of just reacting to them.

And that alone has changed so much for me.

Childhood Strength and Emotional Walls

I’ve been a happy person my whole life. Even though I grew up in poverty, it didn’t matter for some reason; I was just so happy. And it’s kind of contradictory to say, but I also had times in my childhood where I was overwhelmed with depression and sadness. It was to the point where I had no choice but to build a tough shell as a child.

My shell was so sturdy that at my grandmother’s funeral, I refused to cry because I didn’t want anyone to think that I was weak. I was 12 years old, by the way.

This shell followed me into adolescence and early adulthood. To my surprise, it was shattered by postpartum depression.

The point is, even being poor and being one of the strongest kids on earth, I’d never experienced the sadness, anxiety, and anger that I felt after having my baby. My faith journey would play a crucial role in overcoming these feelings. I hate that I have to admit that to myself, because babies are certainly gifts from God. At the time, I should’ve been more grateful for the blessing He had given me.

And the crazy part is, I didn’t even realize I was operating like that for years.

It just became normal to suppress how I felt and keep moving.

But eventually, everything you avoid will catch up to you.

And for me, that moment came all at once.

The Identity Shift That No One Talks About

One thing I don’t think people talk about enough is how much your identity shifts after becoming a mom.

It’s not just your routine that changes; your responsibility does, and so do you.

And if you’re not careful, you can start to feel like you’ve lost the person you used to be.

I had moments where I didn’t recognize myself anymore. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

And that can be scary if you don’t understand what’s happening.

But now I realize… I wasn’t losing myself.

I was being stretched into a new version of me.

The Moment I Realized I Needed Help

There was a moment when I had to be honest with myself.

I wasn’t okay.

And not in a casual, “I’ll get over it” type of way.

I mean, really not okay.

That was hard for me to admit because I was so used to being the strong one.

The one who figures it out. The one who pushes through.

But this time, pushing through wasn’t working.

And that’s when I realized… maybe I’m not supposed to do this by myself.

Finding Faith Through Motherhood

The funny thing is, I loved my daughter so much that it was physically painful. I remember thinking to myself, “If God loves us even more than this, my brain can’t even fathom how infinite His love for us actually is.”

That thought, along with the depression, proved to me that God is real and that I can depend on His infinite love to get me out of this mess. Let me tell you, it was done tenfold.

It was an interesting process because it made me realize that I couldn’t do it alone this time. A shell can’t just be put on. Divine help is needed, and God didn’t disappoint.

I began praying, reading the Bible, and actually studying it using the SOAP method. One of my challenges was that I didn’t know how to pray; I’d never been taught how to.

This is an interesting story because one night I was reading the Bible and didn’t know where to start, so I picked a random chapter. I forgot which one specifically, but after the first few verses, I thought to myself, “This isn’t doing it for me.” So I ended up in Matthew, and guess which verse I landed on… It was significant to my faith journey.

I thought something supernatural was going on, that someone was watching me, and it creeped me out a bit. But it also proved once again that God is real.

That night, I realized I actually needed God. I needed that supernatural hand over my life. I didn’t want to do it alone.

And I think that’s what made my faith feel different this time.

It wasn’t something I was doing because I felt like I had to.

It was something I genuinely needed.

And that changes everything.

My Faith Journey and Transformation

My walk with Jesus is still in the works, and it hasn’t been perfect. I’ve realized that having faith is the answer to most prayers. Faith is what helped me defeat postpartum depression. Being on this faith journey taught me that I couldn’t rely solely on myself.

I had to have faith that the will of my life would be executed no matter what. I had no reason to worry or have anxiety because it was already being taken care of.

And I’m not perfect. Sometimes I still find myself stressed about my future and who I’ll become. But this is a great reminder, even right now as I’m writing this.

Once I made it to the other side of the tunnel, my physical form followed. I started being consistent in the gym, eating healthier, taking care of myself more physically, and just enjoying the blessings that I currently have—and those to come.

I also had to let go of the idea that I needed to have everything figured out.

That was a big one for me.

Because I used to feel like if I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, then I was behind or doing something wrong.

But faith doesn’t work like that.

You’re not always going to see the full picture.

You just have to trust the steps you’re being led to take.

Why Consistency Was So Hard for Me at First

I’m not going to sit here and act like I became consistent overnight, because I didn’t.

There were days I didn’t feel like praying, opening my Bible, or going right back to old habits.

And for a while, that discouraged me.

I felt like if I couldn’t do it perfectly, then what was the point?

But I had to shift my mindset.

Consistency isn’t about being perfect. It’s about coming back. Coming back when you fall off, when you get distracted, and when you don’t feel like it.

That’s what actually changed everything for me.

My Current Era: Becoming Her

As I said, my journey has just begun. I have decades to go, God willing.

This current era that I’m in now is not only about rebranding. It’s also about putting in the work to become the woman that I believe I can be. Additionally, it involves fulfilling my God-given purpose and reaching my highest potential.

I believe that eras should have a name, haha. So, this one is titled:

Becoming Her

I’ll be sharing my journey openly here, and I hope it inspires you to start your own Becoming Her era, too.

If you’re ready to start building habits that stick and grow in your faith, grab my free Becoming “Her” Blueprint. It’s a simple guide to help you take the first steps in your Becoming Her journey.

Proverbs 27:17.

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes